The Onion – Redskins Hold Press Conference To Announce They Are Still Sort Of A Football Team

It worked last week – we included a humorous piece on the Raiders and they amazingly upset the Eagles. Who knows? Maybe the same can happen for the Redskins tonight. If so, the Eagles, may end up needing some TLC.

October 20, 2009 | Issue 45•42 | Onion Sports


WASHINGTON—Washington Redskins head coach Jim Zorn held a press conference Sunday to reassure fans that, despite an inability to effectively execute their offense, defense, or special teams, the Redskins were still somewhat comparable to a real football team. “It’s been a tough season so far, and even though we are 2-4, we still have players, uniforms, Motorola headsets—all the components that technically constitute an NFL team, sort of,” Zorn said while grimacing and making a “so-so” gesture with his hand. “Sure, I was stripped of play-calling responsibilities by team management, and I really don’t have any clue who will play quarterback for us this Sunday, but I swear to you, in a weird, very convoluted way, we are in the NFL.” Placing his hand over the microphone, Zorn then spoke briefly with an unidentified man near the stage, and announced that, for what it’s worth, the organization owns the Internet domain name through 2010.